In my post from last month, Culture Rarely Drifts All at Once, I wrote about regular one-on-one conversations as a way to notice changes in a team before they become bigger problems. At Group Dynamic, each staff member schedules a weekly one-on-one with me. That consistency gives us an opportunity to discuss the work, check in personally, and hear about things I might otherwise miss.
A reader raised a fair question: How do you keep those conversations from becoming meetings for the sake of meetings? If people feel obligated to fill the scheduled time and eventually dread showing up, couldn’t that actually hurt the culture?
Yes, it could. Putting a recurring meeting on the calendar doesn’t automatically make it useful. How we handle that time has a lot to do with whether someone experiences it as support or another obligation.
For me, the foundation is giving the employee ownership of the conversation. They schedule it at a time that works for them, ideally one that works well for both of us. If one of us needs to accommodate the other, I try to be the one making the adjustment. I want this to be time they can use, rather than something squeezed into their day solely at my convenience.
Then they start the conversation. They might have a work question, an update, a concern, or something happening outside of work that they want to share. Any of those is a reasonable place to begin. They don’t need to guess which topic I’m waiting for them to bring up.
That requires a little restraint from the manager. It’s easy to arrive with a list of questions and turn the whole meeting into an interview about assignments. Those questions may need answers, but if I always go first, the employee’s concerns can end up getting whatever time is left. I’d rather give them the first ten to fifteen minutes, listen, and then bring up what I need to discuss.
Much of my approach has been informed by Mark Horstman’s work with Manager Tools and his book, The Effective Manager. The Manager Tools framework starts with time for the employee’s agenda before moving to the manager’s topics and a discussion of the future. That order helps me remember whose perspective I need to make room for.
The other important piece is being willing to finish early. If we’ve covered what we need to cover and there are seven minutes left, we can give those seven minutes back. I can ask whether there’s anything else, and if there isn’t, we’re done. There’s no reason to invent another topic just because we reserved half an hour.
As a manager, I need to make that comfortable. If I say we can end early but then keep asking questions or introducing new subjects, people will notice. They should be able to leave without wondering whether I’m disappointed that they didn’t have more to say.
I still value keeping these conversations regular. Waiting until something goes wrong changes what a private meeting with the manager means. But consistency doesn’t require filling every minute. When employees can bring their own topics, receive my attention, and trust that I’ll respect their time, we have a much better chance of making the conversation worth having.
Make room for better conversations
If your managers are working on making one-on-ones more useful, we’d welcome a conversation about what’s happening on your team. Contact us to explore practical ways to strengthen communication and build more productive working relationships.