Alan Feirer A couple weeks ago, I shared the Quantum Apology Formula. Two days ago, someone asked “Yeah, but what if your apology isn’t accepted?” The short answer is: It’s mostly on them. They have to stay “above the line” or “out of the box” to accept. However, only YOU control YOU, so you can’t make someone accept. … Read more
A true staff meeting story: Tyler turned to Tykeshia and said “I never know where I stand with you.” Tykeshia replied, “Don’t worry. When you screw something up, I’ll tell you. You’re doing just fine.” Tyler look back to Tykeshia and summoned his courage, and said “I’m sorry. That just doesn’t work for me. I need to … Read more
Jill was a jerk of a boss. Her people didn’t like her, mostly because she was bossy, passive-aggressive, and a bad communicator. This all added up to a low-trust, high-tension situation. Jill got good advice: Be nice. Build relationships. Build trust. Avoid bossiness. It worked. For awhile. Until the work started to fall behind. People … Read more
Leaders avoid saying things that shut down discussion and communication; some of these are obviously intended to do this, so using them can damage your credibility also. Here are some examples: “…Enough said.” or the colloquial “‘nuf said.” “Last time I checked,” followed by something like “this was still a free country.” “Just sayin’” “No … Read more
Dear friend, fellow educator, and previous guest blogger Matt Pries likes to share the following model, with is derived from the Quantum Learning school of thought: AcknowledgeApologizeMake it RightRecommit A mnemonic to recall this AAMR model is “All About My Relationships.” And it works. Teach this to others as an antidote to those empty “sorry” … Read more
I’m not going to let my worst experience with someone define my relationship with them. Isn’t that great? Sometimes we have a bad experience with someone and think “whoa, now their true colors are finally coming out!” — and that puts us on guard in the future. Once bitten, twice shy (we think). But we … Read more
Everyone works through grief and the aftermath of trauma in their own way. Some of us have had success navigating stages of grief, and others have dealt with tragedy in their own, unclassifiable way. It feels safe to say that everyone is different, and everyone ought to be regarded with patience. Sometimes, leaders can be … Read more
This is a “rerun” from last year; some events of the last month have convinced me to share it anew: We’re just a couple weeks from the Winter Solstice, the shortest darkest day of the year. A contrast to the holiday season, it can exacerbate hidden internal sadness in those around us. I love Christmas … Read more
I had a college professor who told us to “do everything 10% faster.” This professor had lots of energy, and got lots done. And, the students who followed this advice seemed to work harder, have more energy, and be happier. Over the last 25 years this advice has proven invaluable; it works for me, too. … Read more
This week’s post is actually a paraphrased email to someone who juggles lots of tasks, wondering how it was possible. In the interest of sharing one way of looking at it, I shared my (loosely held-to) scheme of priorities: 1) Family (with permission to ignore 9-3 on weekdays) 2) Current clients (including former clients; once … Read more