“Yeah, I ran over my time limit for the meeting, but if Susan had been on time, we could have started the meeting on time.” “Oh, sorry about that. Rickie forgot to include her report. She had information I needed, so mine didn’t get done.” “If you weren’t so uptight, we could have more fun … Read more
Have you ever been in conflict with someone who just lets it all hang out there? They have no filter and say everything and anything they’re thinking, regardless of how it comes off? My guess is your answer is yes. Communication with tact and respect is the key to building relationships. This is true in … Read more
Sometimes, by simply acknowledging the feelings of others, you can deflate destructive conflict behaviors and guide the conversation back to being productive. This is an empathetic move. One where you put yourself in their shoes in order to experience their perceptions, their feelings and thoughts, and their point of view instead of your own. It puts both … Read more
Recently, I had the chance to hear legendary football coach Lou Holtz deliver a keynote address. He’s best known for turning around the Notre Dame football program, and one of my favorite factoids about that process is that he removed player names from the backs of jerseys, to emphasize “team” rather than “individual hero.” As … Read more
Belittling can be direct, like calling someone an idiot, or it can be slightly more subtle. Either way, when our back is against the wall in a conflict situation, and things turn unhealthy, making others look small is a tactic that can rear its ugly head.
If there’s one skill that leaders must master and habitually improve, it’s communication. I say “habitually improve”, because it’s impossible to communicate flawlessly ALL the time. But – we can sure try! Take a look at this story about a time when intent and impact did not match up: Stanley, upset about recent changes, talked … Read more
A: When the relationship is strong enough, AND, according to coach John Robinson: “Never criticize until the person is convinced of your unconditional confidence in their abilities.” When I think of the people in my life that I willingly take criticism and feedback from, without taking it personally (though my wife and friends may point … Read more
Jayson and Alan discuss: Sometimes leaders need to walk the fine line between consistency and flexibility. Related Post: Grace vs. Enabling
Matt and Alan discuss the ways that interrupting or insisting on having the last word can interfere with a leader’s intention to connect with others. Related posts: Effective leaders stand out: Part one Part two
Matt shares the Quantum Apology Model with Alan; the AAMR method helps leaders – and anyone – apologize with sincerity and grace in order to improve positive relationships and move forward from conflict or misunderstanding. Related posts: What if someone rejects an apology? Apologies