Yesterday, while working in my home office, workers from a local store came to install a new appliance. I overheard a shocking conversation that struck me as inappropriate. I selected a typical excerpt, and posted it on my personal Facebook page to see what conversation would ensue. I was not disappointed. This was an interesting … Read more
Hannah was a young person volunteering at a community dinner. She sure seemed like she didn’t want to be there. She was listening to her iPod and had earbuds in both ears as she served peas to the public. She was surrounded by about twenty adult volunteers.
At one point, Harold, one of the adult volunteers, finally said something. He scowled, and
As promised, this week’s blog is inspired by Veteran’s Day last week. These are two stories of veterans that I told at a local Memorial Day service this year. What’s the lesson? There may be more than one, but let’s lift humility out of this. No war hero brags; in fact, they share the credit with others. If these guys can share the credit for these accomplishments, surely we
When I was young teacher, I often found myself in the middle of student disputes. My response was always something along the lines of, “You need to learn how to solve your own problems.”
I was thinking I was doing them a service by empowering them grow up and solve problems on their own. In reality, I was avoiding drama myself, and being selfish. Leaders of organizations need to clean up spats between people.
Something we talk about in Group Dynamic workshops is this: 80% of decisions are made based on emotion, not ration. Also, we tend to act less mature when stressed. The lessons? There are many.
One is this; when stressed, see if you can delay acting, or speaking, or addressing a situation until the stress passes. This will increase the likelihood of a better decision, and (more importantly) better interactions and relationships. Be nice.
Last week, I visited with someone close to my age (40s) about people in their 20s. The topic of generational differences came up, and I was reminded of the pervasiveness of the current stereotype many of us have about people in their 20s:
Entitled, lazy, hyper-connected, always with the earbuds in, leaving work as soon as possible, doing the minimum necessary, always
A major shift in my teaching effectiveness occurred after I absorbed and applied “The Leadership Challenge” by Kouzes and Posner. I especially embraced their concepts of “inspiring a shared vision” and “encouraging the heart” as ways to increase my own effectiveness at rallying students to stay attentive and hard-working. Being enthusiastic and affirming as a way of doing things, which is the opposite of what I had done before, was like changing the world from black and white to being in color. This shift marked a measurable difference in my engagement of students.
And yet, every once in a while, I would be frustrated
Sometime, when people are urged to take a positive approach to leadership, there is some push-back. Some people seem to equate “positivity” with being super-nice, but being kind is much deeper than a spewing of empty compliments like “good job” or “nice work” or “super!”
You can’t be too kind. But, you can be too soft. That is the difference, and I’ll admit that I have had trouble sometimes helping folks understand the difference. I just read Good to Great and have taken quite a liking to Jim Collins’s phrase “rigorous, not ruthless.” This is the message for leaders who would like to be positive. In fact, participants in Group Dynamic workshops are often trained in the art of “behavior –> outcome” statements. (Covered in an earlier post). This focus on behavior, and the high standards of the organization, can be done in a way that is positive, not negative. In a way that is rigorous, not ruthless.
Cut people some slack. Really, you never know what kind of a day they’re having, how bad their insomnia is, whether they’ve suffered a major loss, or whatever other darkness they carry.
Paul had an iPod in class, and earbuds in his ears. This is a no-no, and standard procedure is to temporarily confiscate it for the day. I reached out my hand, and he gave me a steely glare and said “It’s mine. I’m NOT handing it to you.”
Uh-oh.