Feelings play a role in every decision we make. We humans love to think of ourselves as fully logical and rational at our best, but we are wired to have emotions. And I’m glad we are. But, it’s also true that I don’t always make my best decisions when I’m emotionally charged. I can put … Read more
I’ve just started reading Multipliers by Liz Wiseman. I love books with a clear vision which are a combination of hard research and practical application. What Wiseman has done in this book is compare leaders who multiply talent with those who diminish talent. It’s not a general book about leadership; instead, it’s a deep dive … Read more
We’ve all been in a situation where we’ve wanted to merge into an adjacent lane on the interstate. We do our due diligence by checking our mirrors and being aware of our surroundings. When we see the coast is clear, we begin to merge. Then we swing back into our original lane as the horn … Read more
Have you ever been in a conflict situation where you feel your heart rate increase, sweat lines your brow, and your whole body wants to go into fight or flight mode? Yeah, we all have. Dr. Gottman refers to this as emotional flooding. When you feel emotionally flooded, especially with the same person repeatedly, the … Read more
No one is immune to defensiveness. When we feel attacked, our first inclination is to self-protect. This comes in various forms—denial, deflection, excuses, projection. But defensiveness rarely works and ends up hurting our relationships. The third Horseman: Defensiveness Dr. John Gottman defines defensiveness as “self-protection in the form of righteous indignation or innocent victimhood in … Read more
Perhaps it goes without saying, but it is important to note here: positive behaviors build relationships and negative behaviors destroy relationships. We’ve discussed in this blog the 3:1 feedback ratio. This ratio says for every piece of negative feedback you give, you need to give three bits of positive feedback. Of course, the positive and … Read more
Building and maintaining positive relationships take work and intentionality. Needless to say, relationships are easier in the absence of strong emotion and conflict. But when conflict leads to strong emotions, we have a prime opportunity to build trust and strengthen those relationships. On the flip side, when conflict results in emotional flooding, the human tendency … Read more
In my work with teams who make decisions together about tactics, strategy, and personnel, logical fallacies and cognitive biases show up, so I’m going to write a few posts about some of the most common. This is the eighth post in this series. You can find links to the first seven posts at the bottom … Read more
In my work with teams who make decisions together about tactics, strategy, and personnel, logical fallacies and cognitive biases show up, so I’m going to write a few posts about some of the most common. This is the seventh post in this series. You can find links to the first six posts at the bottom … Read more
In my work with teams who make decisions together about tactics, strategy, and personnel, logical fallacies and cognitive biases show up, so I’m going to write a few posts about some of the most common. This is the sixth post in this series. You can find links to the first five posts at the bottom … Read more