“You don’t know what you’re talking about – you’re not in the classroom anymore.” I was delivering some professional development to teachers, helping them find ways to incorporate servant leadership concepts in their classrooms. One point I was making: Sarcasm has no place in effective teaching. This point is easy to back up, but nearly … Read more
An (abridged) email from Bart, a client: “…and so we just wondered why you would include the TPS module in your proposal?” My early-in-the-career defensive response was similar to: “Why on earth wouldn’t we include the TPS module? Without it, the rest of it won’t make sense; the TLA segment would totally lack context!” And Bart … Read more
Because conflict can be tense and uncomfortable, we might want it to end quickly. DiSC-wise, S types, and even some i types, find productive conflict awkward at times. Caving in works. It ends discussion.
Belittling can be direct, like calling someone an idiot, or it can be slightly more subtle. Either way, when our back is against the wall in a conflict situation, and things turn unhealthy, making others look small is a tactic that can rear its ugly head.
If we’re not careful, we might let debate become about winning and losing. And when that happens, we are distracted from finding the truth and end up in a political battle.
Successful leaders avoid this phrase:
“I need you to…”
Although this is a common way for leaders to assign tasks, it is poor wording for these reasons:
It turns servant leadership upside down; leaders are supposed to meet the needs of others, not to seek to have their own needs met.
People who offer more praise look for opportunities to compliment others and recognize their contributions. Some leaders think that praise is a waste of time, or that good work is enough of a given that praising good work will make it seem like acceptable performance is somehow exceptional. But this flies in the face data … Read more
A way-too-common leadership behavior is the opposite – maintain harmony. “I don’t want to sweat the small stuff.” “I hate confrontation.” “They’ll figure it out eventually.” “Maybe a gentle all-staff email will help.” Great leaders develop fantastic relationships and address problems as they occur. A true story, from a tall building in downtown Des Moines: … Read more
People who are initiating often anticipate opportunities and problems and call attention to them. If you’ve ever been a part of a Group Dynamic session, you’ve seen this shopping cart picture. We can spend an hour or more on what it symbolizes; we usually use it to introduce the Four Levels of Maturity. Today, it … Read more
People who are receptive invite and appreciate different points of view. Leaders who are questioning, skeptical, and challenging can be very helpful when in an early phase such as “exploring implications”. When working toward alignment, however, it can stand in the way. When I was a teacher, I had a principal in my early years who … Read more