“Most feedback is correct and delivered poorly.” A deep-thinking and well-read client, Ryan, said this during a session and it really hit me. It’s simple and important. Most feedback is— Have you ever disregarded feedback because it was delivered poorly? Can you filter out the delivery and accept the correctness? Poor delivery example: “Danah, I … Read more
I’ve always loved the coaching flowchart from “Coaching for Improved Work Performance.” When someone you lead has a performance issue, this flowchart will help you pinpoint the problem. But if you want a question to get closer to the truth more quickly, here’s a deceptively simple one: Is this a willingness gap or a knowledge … Read more
This is a question I’ve tried to handle more than once, but I have a big disclaimer: I don’t hold HR certifications, and I can’t give legal advice. But I can share some thoughts that have been helpful to others. Most managers are working managers. And as such, sometimes they lose sight of the more … Read more
We all have situations where we feel stuck and think there’s no way forward. Let me give you some examples: For these types of situations, consider my newest acronym: ITaMS. ITaMS stands for a self-question— Is There a Middle Step? Anytime it’s hard to see how to get from point A to point B, ask … Read more
Now that we’ve looked at each phase of the Kubler-Ross Change Curve in detail, let’s apply it to a real life situation. It’s 8:20 AM and you’re already late for work, but it’s your turn to bring the Friday bagels for your team. They’re expecting it. So you turn left instead of right, calculating in your … Read more
The first reaction on the Kubler-Ross Change Curve is Denial. This piece is characterized by disbelief and evidence the change isn’t true. Comments from people in this phase can include: Oftentimes, the natural response to people in this phase is tell them that yes, it’s happening and they need to suck it up. It can even … Read more
We are creatures of habit, yet we experience change in every facet of our lives. Some of these changes are good, some aren’t, but regardless of where the changes fall on the spectrum, they all require a mental shift. In her ground-breaking book Death and Dying, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross discusses the stages of grief. She identified five non-linear … Read more
Some past posts have talked about some good email practices: Mirroring Etiquette Now, let’s put those concepts in line with DiSC as a tool for communicating. In the first post, there were two different styles trying to connect, and by tailoring the email to match that, the communication was more effective. Tip – when emailing … Read more
A true staff meeting story: Tyler turned to Tykeshia and said “I never know where I stand with you.” Tykeshia replied, “Don’t worry. When you screw something up, I’ll tell you. You’re doing just fine.” Tyler look back to Tykeshia and summoned his courage, and said “I’m sorry. That just doesn’t work for me. I need to … Read more
1996 I was despondent. Poor me. “My people” weren’t engaged. They didn’t get me; they weren’t loyal, they weren’t receptive, they were leaving me, and it wasn’t my fault. They just needed to give me more time, to get to know me… Except… My boss, Fred, said “They are fighting you.” My colleague, Jo, said … Read more