Communication

Most Discussed – Top Five + One

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These are the posts that have gotten the most comments over the last year. Please comment yourself to keep the discussion going! Effective Leaders Stand Out (part two) Why “Tabatha” smokes “Boss”… What three things make the biggest difference? (part one) Effective Leaders Stand Out (part one) Things successful leaders avoid saying (Part 1) The … Read more

Behavior and Feedback – Top Five + One

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Several posts have had a focus on behavior and giving frequent specific feedback. These things are among the wisest a leader can do, and yet they can be quite uncommon.  Here are five posts that deal with these issues, and the “plus one” is one of my favorite sources on the topic… What’s the Magic … Read more

Communication – Top Five + One

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Communication solves problems; lack of communication causes problems. Communication is arguably the most critical skill we need to survive in the world, and leaders must master it. Here are five posts to help. Nervous about speaking in front of others? Effective Leaders Pause and Listen Things successful leaders avoid saying (Part 1) Things successful leaders … Read more

What Three Things Make the Biggest Difference? (Part Three)

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This week, we look at the third concept of “The Big Three.” This is not new ground for this blog, and I encourage you to check out related posts: Effective Feedback is About the Future Leaders Model the Behavior they Expect Attitude is not everything. Listen to Batman and focus on behavior… What’s the Magic … Read more

Effective Leaders Stand Out (part one)

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In preparation for a breakout session at an upcoming conference, I developed a list of ten things a leader can do to stand out and get noticed.  Not in a “look at me!” kind of way, but in a way that will help the leader connect more to others, and to enable others to connect as well.

While all ten pointers are applicable to all potential leaders, there are four that newer, more fast-paced leaders, might relate to more than the experienced.  So, those four this week, the rest next week.  Here we go:

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Effective Feedback is About the Future

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The title is lifted verbatim from the tenets of Manager Tools, and the brilliant minds of Mark Horstman and Michael Auzenne. I encourage you to go to the source if you want to go deeper.

But the short version is this:

Any feedback on any behavior is most helpful to the individual and the organization if it is

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Things successful leaders avoid saying (part 3)

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Don’t say don’t.

Really.  Two reasons- one is pretty esoteric and provokes skepticism in me, but the second is nearly self-evident:

1) Some research shows that the use of words/phrases involving “not” or even “-n’t” (like don’t) are subconsciously turned into the positive by the listener, because negative talk is rejected.  So if a person is told “don’t be late!” they actually perceive “be late!”, increasing the likelihood of non-compliance.

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Nervous about speaking in front of others?

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When presenting, stand still. Too much walking around makes your audience nervous and projects fear and nervousness. Also, when you stand still, it’s easier to make eye contact. If you’re talking longer than five minutes, it makes sense to deliberately move to a different place. Then stand there, feet shoulder width apart, looking at your audience.

Beware acting while stressed…

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Something we talk about in Group Dynamic workshops is this: 80% of decisions are made based on emotion, not ration. Also, we tend to act less mature when stressed. The lessons? There are many.

One is this; when stressed, see if you can delay acting, or speaking, or addressing a situation until the stress passes. This will increase the likelihood of a better decision, and (more importantly) better interactions and relationships. Be nice.