The youngest member of the team was trying to make a point, but the second-most-senior person talked over her. When she tried to speak again, the guy with seniority made no eye contact with her. After the meeting, she stopped by his office, stood in his door and said, “Can we talk more about this, … Read more
I have a couple pet peeves. One of them involves name tags. I hate wearing name tags, but I’m in a lot of situations where people have to wear them: training sessions, week-long camps, trade shows. And I get it – it’s important for people to have an identifiable status, to connect, to be a temporary … Read more
Why do people get melodramatic? Is it an inability to rein in one’s emotions? Is it about getting attention by yelling or acting out? Could it be a search for validation? Drama in others is confusing – it seems immature, attention-seeking and unnecessary. Drama in ourselves? We don’t usually know it’s happening until we’re in … Read more
“You don’t know what you’re talking about – you’re not in the classroom anymore.” I was delivering some professional development to teachers, helping them find ways to incorporate servant leadership concepts in their classrooms. One point I was making: Sarcasm has no place in effective teaching. This point is easy to back up, but nearly … Read more
An (abridged) email from Bart, a client: “…and so we just wondered why you would include the TPS module in your proposal?” My early-in-the-career defensive response was similar to: “Why on earth wouldn’t we include the TPS module? Without it, the rest of it won’t make sense; the TLA segment would totally lack context!” And Bart … Read more
Because conflict can be tense and uncomfortable, we might want it to end quickly. DiSC-wise, S types, and even some i types, find productive conflict awkward at times. Caving in works. It ends discussion.
Belittling can be direct, like calling someone an idiot, or it can be slightly more subtle. Either way, when our back is against the wall in a conflict situation, and things turn unhealthy, making others look small is a tactic that can rear its ugly head.
People who offer more praise look for opportunities to compliment others and recognize their contributions. Some leaders think that praise is a waste of time, or that good work is enough of a given that praising good work will make it seem like acceptable performance is somehow exceptional. But this flies in the face data … Read more
A way-too-common leadership behavior is the opposite – maintain harmony. “I don’t want to sweat the small stuff.” “I hate confrontation.” “They’ll figure it out eventually.” “Maybe a gentle all-staff email will help.” Great leaders develop fantastic relationships and address problems as they occur. A true story, from a tall building in downtown Des Moines: … Read more
People who analyze in-depth tend to perform a thorough examination of facts and details. The alternative is to act on the gut – relying on initial feelings and views to move forward, and simply follow first impressions. This is very common among those who suffer from The Success Deception; when you are smart, and successful, … Read more