When we stonewall, we make it clear to others that communication is not welcome. We let people know that their behavior or ideas are so unacceptable that we are unwilling to compromise or discuss a resolution. I was in a planning meeting for a musical event once that got heated – there was no easy answer to … Read more
Denaja was right. She knew she was right. She had designed four other projects, all with similar scopes. They had gone so well that she was now permanently in a designing role – an expert. But when Roman gets started, he won’t let up. He dominates, gets aggressive, and can sometimes make personal cutting remarks. So … Read more
Sarcasm has no place in effective leadership. That’s not the most popular thing I’ve said, but it needs to be said frequently. It’s personally frustrating, because sarcasm has been a big part of my sense of humor most of my life. But it’s gotten me into trouble at least as often as it’s gotten me … Read more
“Who should get this project?” Greg trusted Monica’s judgement, and saw her as a future number two, and Greg’s current number two was out of the office, so this was a test. “Jean-Paul”, Monica said with no hesitation. “Really?” Greg mused, “I was sure you’d say Rich. This is right up Rich’s alley – and … Read more
Some people know how to push our buttons. When they do, and there’s an element of truth to it, we get a little testy. We want them to know that we’re angry, but we also know it’s best to avoid full-on conflict. Being passive-aggressive can seem like the perfect solution. We get to subtly punish someone … Read more
Overpowering involves drawing on all the sources of power at our disposal to defeat someone during a conflict. Sometimes that power is social or organizational authority, but sometimes it’s simply using the force of a strong, vocal personality. “It’s NOT GONNA HAPPEN!” Joyce shouted. “Well,” said Marco, “I think things have changed enough that…” “Who … Read more
“Yes, but that logic is flawed.” “Have you even looked at the numbers going back 10 years? Why not use all the data instead of just the most recent?” “We’ve never done that before, and even suggesting it is a waste of our time.” “I can’t even read that font. How can I take you … Read more
I have youth clientele, and I have corporate clientele. When the concept of gossiping comes up with young people, I hear comments like, “I can’t wait until I’m done with high school so I can be done with all this gossip and drama.” Oh, dear young friends. Should I tell them the truth, or let … Read more
I forgot to call to reserve the conference room. This is a problem; we have no place to meet. I dropped the ball, and this messed up other people’s days. But Angela forgot to prepare the agenda. A-ha! I’m not the one to blame anymore. “Well, I guess it doesn’t matter if we have a … Read more
The youngest member of the team was trying to make a point, but the second-most-senior person talked over her. When she tried to speak again, the guy with seniority made no eye contact with her. After the meeting, she stopped by his office, stood in his door and said, “Can we talk more about this, … Read more