Productive Conflict: Finding the Root of the Problem

This week, we’re starting a new series on productive conflict behaviors. In a previous series, we looked at unproductive behaviors. You can find the first post in that series here. Going back to DiSC, some of these behaviors will come more naturally to you than others, depending on your style. For example, if you have … Read more

Watch for Signs of Previous Bad Leadership

Recently, I chaperoned a large group trip for a bunch of teenagers—over 300 of them. I had to keep track of about 35 of them myself, and punctuality was the most pressing issue of the trip. If any one person was late for the bus or the meeting point, it held up all 300. While … Read more

Are You a Leader Who Nourishes or Depletes During Tough Conversations?

At the recent Professional Development Conference for the Central Iowa Chapter of the Association for Talent Development, Sarah Noll Wilson served as the opening keynote speaker, and I’d like to share my favorite takeaway from that speech, because it fits so well with previous themes. Bottom Line Up Front: In every conversation, we are on … Read more

Own Your Tough Statements

There are certain words and phrases that can get us on the defensive before we even know what the topic is. One of the big ones is “No offense, but…” And related cushions followed by the word but. Remember that people on tight teams can handle tough talk. It’s okay for you to deliver tough … Read more

Leaders Ask “Does it Need to be Said?”

I’ve heard a few versions of “Ask yourself if it needs to be said” before speaking out loud. When I heard Kristi Knous speak recently at the 90 Ideas event, I appreciated her 3 questions for leaders before speaking. I wrote Kristi, as I wanted to get her words just right, and she graciously emailed … Read more

Leaders Address Sabotage During Conflict

Can you empathize with this mindset? He never puts stuff away and never gets caught. I’ll just put this extension cord on the floor in the waiting room after hours – he’ll finally get blamed. I know I’m framing him. But, it’s justified because he does it all the time and never gets caught. I’m … Read more

Leaders Address Stonewalling During Conflict

When we stonewall, we make it clear to others that communication is not welcome. We let people know that their behavior or ideas are so unacceptable that we are unwilling to compromise or discuss a resolution. I was in a planning meeting for a musical event once that got heated – there was no easy answer to … Read more

Leaders Address Withdrawing During Conflict

Denaja was right. She knew she was right. She had designed four other projects, all with similar scopes. They had gone so well that she was now permanently in a designing role – an expert. But when Roman gets started, he won’t let up. He dominates, gets aggressive, and can sometimes make personal cutting remarks. So … Read more

Leaders Address Sarcasm During Conflict

Sarcasm has no place in effective leadership. That’s not the most popular thing I’ve said, but it needs to be said frequently. It’s personally frustrating, because sarcasm has been a big part of my sense of humor most of my life. But it’s gotten me into trouble at least as often as it’s gotten me … Read more

Leaders Address Seeking Revenge During Conflict

“Who should get this project?” Greg trusted Monica’s judgement, and saw her as a future number two, and Greg’s current number two was out of the office, so this was a test. “Jean-Paul”, Monica said with no hesitation. “Really?” Greg mused, “I was sure you’d say Rich. This is right up Rich’s alley – and … Read more