Because conflict involves strong emotions, it has the power to overwhelm people. That looks different for everyone. For example, overwhelmed people with the C style and S styles may shut down, whereas those with the i style and D styles may keeping pushing their point. Regardless, conflict affects everyone. We all need to pause and reflect, … Read more
Sometimes, by simply acknowledging the feelings of others, you can deflate destructive conflict behaviors and guide the conversation back to being productive. This is an empathetic move. One where you put yourself in their shoes in order to experience their perceptions, their feelings and thoughts, and their point of view instead of your own. It puts both … Read more
Let’s revisit the definition of conflict. Conflict is a difference of opinions involving strong emotions. The strong emotions part is what makes conflict so draining and uncomfortable. When people become too drained, they need time and space to recharge and reflect. One positive approach to conflict that may not seem very intuitive to some is the … Read more
Have you ever heard the saying, “Nobody’s perfect?” Have you ever used that saying? How often do you use it? It’s probably one of the most popular things we say and/or think, because it’s true. But what does it mean to not be perfect? It means that we make mistakes. We fail at the tasks … Read more
One of my favorite leadership experiments happened when I was a band teacher. If you know my origin story, you know there was a time when I was a very negative leader. Part of the turn-around in the late 1990’s involved the revelation of the power of positive feedback. I decided to do a radical … Read more
Ricardo was the president of the Band Parents for a time while I was a band director. He ran pretty good meetings. His corporate background and command of deliverables worked very well, especially when another officer, Don, ran off at the mouth. Most of Don’s ramblings were trivial, and sometimes they were negative. But Ricardo … Read more
I heard Tim Kight speak at the Iowa SHRM conference, and he had an elegant way of boiling down the role our choices make in determining outcomes. Event + response = outcome Essentially, if we don’t have influence over events, yet we want to control outcomes, then we need to focus on our responses to … Read more
One of my favorite speakers is Pat Lencioni. I love him as an author, but he’s an even better speaker. Something I don’t think he’s written, but that I’ve heard him say a few times, are these inspiring words, which I’m paraphrasing for you: So many of us want to make a difference in the … Read more
Some words and phrases give off the wrong vibe, tone, or meaning. We’ve explored several of these over the course of this blog, and today we’re adding one more to the list. How do these conversations hit you? 1. “Hey Marco, what time is the meeting?” “I have no idea.” 2. “Say Abril, how many … Read more
We all work and breathe in four organizational frames. These frames are Political, Structural, Human Resources, and Symbolic. Political—power, conflict, coalitions Structural—organizational charts, policies, procedures Human Resources—meeting individual needs, teamwork, leadership, people problems Symbolic—culture, ritual, stories, traditions In times of change, the first two—political and structural—are usually where the change originates from. The bottom two—human … Read more