I’ve written a lot on this blog about being others-focused instead of being self-focused. If I asked, I’m sure you could come up with a list of outward behaviors for each of the two categories. On the self-focused list would probably be words like tardiness, frowning, complaining, ignoring others’ needs, and declining to help. Words … Read more
Let’s start with an example: Aaron was annoyed with his boss, Craig. So annoyed, in fact, that Aaron went over Craig’s head and complained to Craig’s boss, Annette. “Craig’s always breezing in and out. Never listens. Doesn’t have that ‘open door’ policy he brags about. And really tunes me out when I tell him about … Read more
One of my favorite management experts, Mark Horstman of Manager Tools, likes to say, “Email is for the convenience of the sender.” In The Advantage, Patrick Lencioni advocates “cascading communication.” The idea is simple. Members of the executive team agree on a common and consistent set of messages that they will in turn communicate to … Read more
I’ve heard a few versions of “Ask yourself if it needs to be said” before speaking out loud. When I heard Kristi Knous speak recently at the 90 Ideas event, I appreciated her 3 questions for leaders before speaking. I wrote Kristi, as I wanted to get her words just right, and she graciously emailed … Read more
Because conflict can be tense and uncomfortable, we might want it to end quickly. DiSC-wise, S types, and even some i types, find productive conflict awkward at times. Caving in works. It ends discussion.
Belittling can be direct, like calling someone an idiot, or it can be slightly more subtle. Either way, when our back is against the wall in a conflict situation, and things turn unhealthy, making others look small is a tactic that can rear its ugly head.
If we’re not careful, we might let debate become about winning and losing. And when that happens, we are distracted from finding the truth and end up in a political battle.
Successful leaders avoid this phrase:
“I need you to…”
Although this is a common way for leaders to assign tasks, it is poor wording for these reasons:
It turns servant leadership upside down; leaders are supposed to meet the needs of others, not to seek to have their own needs met.
People who offer more praise look for opportunities to compliment others and recognize their contributions. Some leaders think that praise is a waste of time, or that good work is enough of a given that praising good work will make it seem like acceptable performance is somehow exceptional. But this flies in the face data … Read more
A way-too-common leadership behavior is the opposite – maintain harmony. “I don’t want to sweat the small stuff.” “I hate confrontation.” “They’ll figure it out eventually.” “Maybe a gentle all-staff email will help.” Great leaders develop fantastic relationships and address problems as they occur. A true story, from a tall building in downtown Des Moines: … Read more