People who are receptive invite and appreciate different points of view. Leaders who are questioning, skeptical, and challenging can be very helpful when in an early phase such as “exploring implications”. When working toward alignment, however, it can stand in the way. When I was a teacher, I had a principal in my early years who found that … Read more
People who exchange perspectives tend to encourage dialogue around new ideas and information. In a dysfunctional situation, a leader may do the opposite; present information without room for discussion. I was part of a team once that had to select chaperones for an international youth trip. The chairman explained exactly how the selection had been made … Read more
People who deliver structured messages prioritize organizing what they want to say, making it easier for others to understand. The poor alternative is to deliver “impromptu messages”, when we avoid investing energy into organizing what we have to say before speaking. As an “iD” DiSC style, I’m frequently guilty of that. I had been VP of Community … Read more
People who explain their rationale tend to communicate the reasoning and facts behind an idea or decision. I did some work for a nationally known marching arts ensemble, the “Troubadours”. They were led by executive director “Steve” (names changed). Steve wanted me to lead the whole 120 member group in exercises to determine the most … Read more
People who explore implications show patience in evaluating ideas to determine potential benefits and drawbacks. I stayed in a brand-new hotel recently, and noticed something odd; the bathroom door was spring loaded to swing shut. Furthermore, when I checked in, the bathroom light and fan were on and running. This meant that when I entered … Read more
People who seek counsel tend to consult with trusted advisors to help evaluate risks and possible outcomes. We’ll start with a real-life negative example: A new superintendent in a school district put forth a new program idea: SCUBA diving instruction. He had done it at his old school, to great success (according to him), so he … Read more
We love big stories about exciting, game-changing leadership moments. But when you’re asked about the best leader you ever worked with, you probably don’t respond with a story or example of their biggest project or resume-builder. Instead, you talk about the way they made you feel. Years from now, people will forget the little things you … Read more
Here’s a common question, but it’s confusing and vague: “Would you mind?” For example, “Would you mind getting the report in a day early?” Seems like a basic question – but how do you handle the answer, “Sure!” Lots of times, it goes like this: “Sure… sure you’ll do it, or sure you’ll mind?” “What?” … Read more
There are times in conversations or meetings when you really want to move on, but you don’t want to shut people down. So, you use a generic question that unintentionally telegraphs a lack of openness, rather than a desire to check-in. For example: “Does that make sense?” “Any questions?” “Does everybody get that?” Unfortunately, there’s no … Read more
Early in my teaching career, a guidance counselor gave me brilliant advice when exploring the reasons why someone made a decision. It was counter-intuitive: Resist asking “why“. He explained the reasoning by asking me to think about what “why” opens up – the prepared answer, the agenda, the (by definition) inner thoughts and motives that … Read more