I’ve heard a few versions of “Ask yourself if it needs to be said” before speaking out loud. When I heard Kristi Knous speak recently at the 90 Ideas event, I appreciated her 3 questions for leaders before speaking. I wrote Kristi, as I wanted to get her words just right, and she graciously emailed … Read more
Because conflict can be tense and uncomfortable, we might want it to end quickly. DiSC-wise, S types, and even some i types, find productive conflict awkward at times. Caving in works. It ends discussion.
Belittling can be direct, like calling someone an idiot, or it can be slightly more subtle. Either way, when our back is against the wall in a conflict situation, and things turn unhealthy, making others look small is a tactic that can rear its ugly head.
If we’re not careful, we might let debate become about winning and losing. And when that happens, we are distracted from finding the truth and end up in a political battle.
Successful leaders avoid this phrase:
“I need you to…”
Although this is a common way for leaders to assign tasks, it is poor wording for these reasons:
It turns servant leadership upside down; leaders are supposed to meet the needs of others, not to seek to have their own needs met.
People who offer more praise look for opportunities to compliment others and recognize their contributions. Some leaders think that praise is a waste of time, or that good work is enough of a given that praising good work will make it seem like acceptable performance is somehow exceptional. But this flies in the face data … Read more