If, as research has shown, people are motivated by autonomy, then there is a class of words we ought to avoid, as they can crush autonomy. These may include “ought,” or “must,” but let’s focus on the one that seems to pass judgement:
“SHOULD”
For the last two or three years of my career as a teacher, I was able to finally be somewhat effective with those students who were so very different than me.
This affirms two huge things:
One, effective communication and leadership are behaviors that can be learned and practiced behaviors.
Two, DiSC is powerful.
I have become an Inscape Publishing authorized distributor of DiSC products; not because it adds to my “bag of tricks” as a consultant, but because it can make a profound, immediate, actionable difference in the lives of the people who grow to understand it, even at the most rudimentary level; all I did was hear about it and learn a little bit about it and it made a powerful difference. It changed my life, and that is why I use it and recommend it to everyone.
Sometime, when people are urged to take a positive approach to leadership, there is some push-back. Some people seem to equate “positivity” with being super-nice, but being kind is much deeper than a spewing of empty compliments like “good job” or “nice work” or “super!”
An approach that upholds high standards and is very specific about behavior is positive, but not soft. Be rigorous, not ruthless.
What’s your biggest current dilemma? If you don’t have one, then…
What one thing on your to-do list do you keep procrastinating on because you are unsure how to proceed? If you still don’t have something, then…
What is one decision that you have yet to make this week?
I’ve been reading about the Adaptation Principle. This can take on many forms depending on the venue (it’s very popular in exercise physiology), but in organizations it goes something like this:
When we get used to things, we don’t notice them as much. We also don’t think about their meaning.
Examples:
Successful leaders consistently find ways to avoid “me, myself, and I” in their communications; this keeps the focus on others. A nice exception; the use of personal failures to make points. Self-deprecation is…
Cut people some slack. Really, you never know what kind of a day they’re having, how bad their insomnia is, whether they’ve suffered a major loss, or whatever other darkness they carry.
Because grace is something everyone needs to learn, and leaders sometimes act out of fear – “I’ll look weak!” we think. Pick some moments to cut people some slack.
At least, you’ll inspire loyalty because you’ve shown compassion, and at best, you’ll teach grace. And that can change the world.
I love this quote from Batman Begins: “Bruce, deep down you may still be that same great kid you used to be. But it’s not who you are underneath… it’s what you do that defines you.” As a leader, parent, and trainer, I confess that I cringe when I hear someone try to pump people … Read more